Dear Readers,
This column is not meant to be sacrilegious. It is simply a way for me to present my memories of the wrestling business in a humorous fashion. I hope you enjoy it.
--Tinker Todd
Greetings again, dear Reader. I begin where I left off in the last manuscript.
On the morning of the next day, before the sun had risen above the horizon, I was waiting outside the massive doors of the Great Palace of Nick Gulashi, the Tennessee High Priest. When the door swung open, I entered and pushed my way through the multitude of young disciples. I was received by the young, blond man with the beautiful smile on his face, who looked like Dick Steinborn, but I know it wasn't he. He took me to the side and said these words.
"The High Priest left these instructions for you. Thou shalt leave this morning and make thy way to Union City. Thou shalt enter a barn, where thou wilt be greeted by a multitude of people, about thirty in number.
First, thou shall give them the sign of the finger and say these words, ‘To thee, my blessings, tribe of Rednecks.' Thou wilt see much evil leave their face, but they in return will give thee the blessing back. You will then enter the barn and before you will be the altar, also called the ring. Fear not to tread on this, because it is made out of steel and cement. On it will be a canvas drawn tightly about it. It will be sprinkled with much blood of those who have gone before you.
Go to the room of undress, where you shall undress thyself and dress thyself as a young warrior. When thou are called upon to enter the ring, the multitude will scream at you with joy and love. Stand in the middle of the ring and you will give to the four sides the middle finger. Go to the corner.
At the sound of the bell, thou will about turn and walk to the center of the ring, where you will meet one of the Unbelievers. He will kick thee. He will punch thee. He will pull you by the hair. He will throw you from the ring. But each time, get back in. When he is exhausted, throw thyself to the canvas and press tightly thy shoulders. Wait there for the sound of "one, two, three." Leave the ring and go back to the room of undress, where thou shalt strip thyself nakedly and go into the room of wash. On many occasions, the unbeliever will follow you in. He will admire and respect you so that he will slap your back and hug thy neck. But remember ... thou art naked.
On entering the room of undress, you will be approached by a man called a promoter. He will have much grief in his eyes and he will offer thee fifteen small coppers. Take not the fifteen, but just five. This will bring much joy to the promoter. He will spread thy name throughout all the Kingdoms, and thy name will be well received."
At this, the young, blond man with the beautiful smile on his face, who looked like Dick Steinborn, although I knew it wasn't, stopped and placed the paper on my lips, which I kissed. He then said, "What transportation carries you away?" To which I remarked, "A 1939, 6-cylinder Ford." To this he said, "On the morn, thou shalt be here at ten of the hour, and thou shalt take with thee to Union City, a town to the East, six of thy brother Disciples. Four of them shall be from Mexico, and the other two from Tennessee. Care for them well."
